Non-Monogamy Media Guide
With the growing prevalence of consensual non-monogamy, we’re beginning to see more depictions of non-monogamous relationships in the media. However, not all portrayals are created equal! Some present authentic, honest, human depictions of ways in which some people choose to structure their families and relationships. Others unfortunately perpetuate harmful stereotypes and stigmas.
That’s why we created this resource to help people assess media portrayals of consensually non-monogamous relationships. Whether you’re a media consumer or creator, we hope that this tool will help promote a more accurate and compassionate understanding of the diverse experiences of those engaged in consensual non-monogamy.
The Rubric
Is the relationship clearly consensual for all parties involved?
If not, it’s not actually consensual non-monogamy. Any portrayal that presents someone cheating as “swinging” or “polyamory” etc. gets an F.Is there an identification of commitment within the relationship(s)? Theres nothing wrong with hookups or casual flings. But media portrayals shouldn’t feed the myth that non-monogamous relationships are fundamentally less committed than monogamous ones.
Is there an authentic portrayal of the diverse forms that CNM relationships actually take? Ensure that the portrayal goes beyond the stereotype of a perfectly balanced, closed triad (usually two bisexual women and a straight man) and explores the diverse range of non-monogamous relationship structures.
Does the media depict diverse family structures and/or illustrate the concept of “chosen family?” We rarely see portrayals of polyamorous parents on screen.
Is CNM depicted as morally neutral? Often used to indicate negative traits or intentions on the part of the character. Convenience shorthand for vice, hedonism, lack of commitment, selfishness, and other negative characteristics.
Does the media depict the authentic work that is required for any relationship to function? Do the characters talk about their desires, needs, boundaries, and emotional experiences? Do we see them aligning their schedules, or dealing with jealousy?
What are the characters’ motivations and intentions for pursuing consensual non-monogamy? Is it motivated by an authentic desire for more connection, or is it a matter of “relationship broken, add more people?”
Does the media address how non-monogamy intersects with other identities such as queerness, asexuality, class, race & ethnicity?
Is the portrayal more sexualized than other relationships depicted in this media? Does sex/sexuality make up the majority of the relationship’s depiction?
Get in touch!
Have you seen a media portrayal of non-monogamy that is particularly thoughtful… or especially egregious? We’d love to hear about it! Get in touch with OPEN at info@open-love.org or message us on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook @openloveorg.
